Monday, May 3, 2010

The Dog's List

Thanks to Tara who sent me this piece.
Tara, BTW, lives in the Cayman Islands.
All together now ...
"We hate you, Tara!"

There are pros and cons to living in the Caymans.
Every once in a while, I get an Out-of-Office Reply
after sending her an email:

"Please be advised that due to the impending hurricane,
our offices are closed until further notice."

That says it all, doesn't it?

But on to funnier things ...

* * *

The Dog's List of Things to Remember

  1. I will not eat the cat's food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

  2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

  3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

  4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

  5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

  6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

  7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.

  8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table

  9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house - not after.

  10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

  11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.

  12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

Now, if I could just get Puppy to read 1, 3 and 12.
And 7. Especially 7.
Cuz I'm usually the recipient of that one.

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