All in the name

As I mentioned previously,
BJ and Cousin Alex came over last week
and we hung out at the Elmwood Spa.
We had a lovely time.
I mean, really, how can you not?

If you've never been,
after you check in,
they give you an itinerary
listing the services you are going to have,
who's going to pamper you,
what time each service begins
and on what floor.

It's a big place.

So we're in the locker room,
I'm sitting on the bench,
reviewing my itinerary.
I glance at the names of the people
who are going to be my Pamperors
(me, of course, being the Pamperee).

And I notice a pattern.

"Hey," I say, to no one in particular,
"All my service people have porn names."

The girls look at me. "What?"

"Listen," I say, and rhyme off the names.
"Kashmir, Lilac and Laguna."

I hold out my itinerary. "See. Porn names."

BJ takes the sheet from me and scans it.

"No, honey," she says, "those are the names of the rooms."