Back on the Wagon

There should be a 12-step program for people coming back from vacation.

Too much food. Waaaay too much drink!

It wasn't long before The Husband and I established a routine: Breakfast at 8 am. Cappuccino with a double shot of Baileys at 9. Tequila shots at 10. A continuous string of fruity drinks until Noon. Cervezas with lunch. More drinks until dinner. Vino blanco and vino rojo with dinner. More drinks at the show.

And the food. Ooooh the food! Not that I ate many sweets. Au contraire, mon frère. It's that I ate too much guacamole. Or at least that's what I thought it was at first. I heaped mounds of guacamole (I love guac!) onto my tortilla, with salsa and fried onions. I took two very healthy bites before I realized that my mouth is on fire. My lips were swollen to three times their normal size. There was a charred path going from my tongue, down my esophagus to my intestines. Smoke was coming out my ears. My eyes began to water. Then The Husband pointed out to me that it wasn't guacamole, it was some sort of green Let's-burn-the-Touristos' sauce. Me and the porcelain gods were well acquainted that day.

I'm attending my first Vacationer's Anonymous meeting tomorrow. "Hello, my name is Mo, and I've been on vacation."