Monday, December 15, 2008

It's the Most %$#@*& Time of the Year

I absolutely hate the commercialism of Christmas. And so say all of you.

Agonizing over buying pointless gifts for people who won't appreciate them. Spending hours -- nay, days!! -- to create a magnificent meal that is scarfed down in minutes. Spending time with family you don't even like, resulting in feuds akin to the Hatfields and the McCoys.

Do I sound bitter? Of course I do. I'm fed up with it all! This is supposed to be a time of joy, happiness and celebration. Instead, if you dare venture into a mall, everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) is pissed off. Not just cranky or angry. PISSED OFF! There's shoving and pushing and angry swear words. And that's from the retail staff!

But I think I know what the root cause of all this is.

It's the Christmas Carols! The malls start playing these damn things in November. Every friggin' radio station is playing them ... and bragging about it! All carols all the time. Enough already!! We don't need to hear The Cure sing Oh Holy Night.

What amazes me is that despite the radicals who've politically corrected this holiday so that the word Christmas has been officially replaced with Holiday, we still haven't managed to eliminate the Christmas Carols. City Hall must now erect a Holiday Tree. Retailers cannot wish customers a Merry Christmas. Children do not have Christmas Parties at school. So why are we still allowed to play Christmas Carols?

I'm convinced it's because retailers have added subliminal messages to the Christmas Carols so that we'll buy more. I'm sure of it.


frantastic said...

All I got out of this latest rant of yours is that you seem to think that the Cure singing Oh Holy Night is a bad thing! Pish posh, I say - you're nuckin futs!

Clippy Mat said...

LOL at Fran's comment.
in the mall where i work(ed i'm now on vacation till jan. 09 hooray) they played a different version of o holy night 3 times every hour; once by the chipmunks i think,or the record was on high speed!
but the retailers were nice.
it's a small town.
it's just the security people who are nuts!

Chris Bowers said...

Silent night, holy night
(Come in my store and buy everything)
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Child
Holy Infant so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace