Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Mmmm .... Mmmm .... Ouch!

Nephew #1 is home convalescing. His foot is injured so badly that he has to stay off it and keep it elevated. His toenail has turned black. The doctor had to drill a hole and drain it. It is now infected and there is stuff oozing out of it. His mother wants to know if I want to take Nephew #1 home with me. Ewwwww! Gross!! NO! This is why I'm the Aunt and you're the Mom.

Nephew #1 is telling everyone that he kicked a robber in the head. The girls at school are swooning all over him and sending goo goo text messages. Smart kid.

Of course, that's not what happened. What really happened is that he dropped a can of Campbell's Soup on his foot. Nephew #1 jokes that he now wants to sue Campbells. He may actually have something here. I mean, really, we all know about the McDonald's Lawsuit.

Some moron goes through the drive-thru and orders coffee. Coffee = hot. We all know this. This woman places the hot coffee between her legs so that she can add cream and sugar. In doing so, she spills the coffee (duh!!) and suffers serious burns. A jury awards her in excess of $2.5 million dollars. It is later settled for a lower undisclosed amount. A jury decides that she is only 20% responsible for her burns due to her actions.

20%?!! How about 100%?! How many times before this incident and, perhaps afterwards, did this idiot successfully drink coffee without burning herself. Could the fact that she burned herself be a direct result of her actions? Methinks yes. McDonalds serves billions -- BILLIONS -- of coffees every single day. Why don't we hear about billions of people burning their hoo hoos willy nilly all over the country? Because they don't. And yet, a jury has set a precedent that allows irresponsible people to blame corporate America for their stupidity and get paid handsomely for it.

So Nephew #1 wants to sue Campbells. I say go for it. He has a good argument. Nowhere on the label does Campbells forewarn the consumer that dropping the can on your foot may be harmful. I'm sure an argument can be made that Nephew #1 is only 20% responsible for his injuries. Studies could be made to determine whether Campbell's soup cans are heavier than their competitors', thereby increasing the risk of injury. Perhaps the can itself is faulty. Oh, the arguments that could be made -- how delicious! (no pun intended, of course.)

Anyone know a good lawyer?


Alex said...

Oh sure, only be the Aunt when they're good or healthy!!! Just for that I'm taking a picture and emailing it to you every day until it

Clippy Mat said...

a good and lawyer should not be in the same sentence.
don't ask me i'm biased of course.