I didn't have anything to write about today. But while I was reading my favourite blogs, I had an Aha Moment. I was visiting C. Beth Blog and while I was making my comment the proverbial light bulb turned on. Aha!
C. Beth was talking about fears.
I have several.
The usual ones.
Spiders.
Flying.
And the dark.
Yes, you read that right.
I'm 43 years old and I'm afraid of the dark.
Terrified, in fact.
There.
I said it.
Stop laughing.
It's not funny.
I think I can pinpoint when it happened.
I was a wee thing; about 5 or 6 years old.
I was tossing and turning in my sleep.
(I've never really been a good sleeper.)
I woke up in the middle of the night.
Desperately needing to pee.
The room was dark.
I couldn't really see anything.
But I knew where the door was.
So I hop out of bed and walk to where I know the door is.
But the door wasn't there.
Suddenly, I was completely disoriented.
I panicked.
I frantically started feeling around.
No door.
Where's the door?!
My bladder is full to brimming now.
In my panicked state, I start fumbling around in the dark.
Bumping into things
Tripping.
When suddenly ... yes ... my bladder lets go.
I was crying.
Even at that tender age, I was humiliated.
Eventually I found the door.
Got to the bathroom.
Cleaned myself up.
Cleaned up the floor.
Never told mom.
Couldn't.
But since then, I am fully aware that things go bump in the dark.
7 comments:
i am crying for your 5/6 year old self - thanks for the early morning bummer :(
Awww, that is sad. Our house is full of night lights just for that purpose (waking up in the dark and needing to find the route to a restroom).
Oh my gosh..what a terrible memory for you. I am not really afraid of the dark...just ghosts.
What a traumatizing story. You should be afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of deep dark water (yet I love the beach...just not the water) AND I'm not fond of the dark either. I had a babysitter lock me in our dark basement when I was 4 and told me my parents had died. I completely and rightfully freaked out. As you can imagine it's stayed with me. I told my mom when she got home and that lady never babysat again.
i used to be terrified of the dark as well, i slept with the light on (not just a nite light, the ceiling one!) until i was about 10 or 11.
i still get nervous if im alone in a dark house sometimes ;)
l_f: It bummed me out too. Then we had lunch. All better now.
ETW: We have night lights everywhere now too. TH is very understanding.
BBS: It's the living that we need to be afraid of!
marathoner81: WTF?! Honestly, where do these people get these ideas? I guess you're lucky that the Crazy Hosebeast didn't do more than that! Sheesh!!
Gina: And I still don't go downstairs without the light on. The Boogeyman lives down there, man!
I'm afraid of midgets. Remind me someday to tell you my midget story.
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