Friday, May 22, 2009

Scaredy Cat

I didn't have anything to write about today. But while I was reading my favourite blogs, I had an Aha Moment. I was visiting C. Beth Blog and while I was making my comment the proverbial light bulb turned on. Aha!

C. Beth was talking about fears.
I have several.
The usual ones.
Spiders.
Flying.

And the dark.
Yes, you read that right.
I'm 43 years old and I'm afraid of the dark.
Terrified, in fact.
There.
I said it.
Stop laughing.
It's not funny.

I think I can pinpoint when it happened.

I was a wee thing; about 5 or 6 years old.
I was tossing and turning in my sleep.
(I've never really been a good sleeper.)
I woke up in the middle of the night.
Desperately needing to pee.

The room was dark.
I couldn't really see anything.
But I knew where the door was.
So I hop out of bed and walk to where I know the door is.
But the door wasn't there.

Suddenly, I was completely disoriented.
I panicked.

I frantically started feeling around.
No door.
Where's the door?!
My bladder is full to brimming now.

In my panicked state, I start fumbling around in the dark.
Bumping into things
Tripping.
When suddenly ... yes ... my bladder lets go.

I was crying.
Even at that tender age, I was humiliated.

Eventually I found the door.
Got to the bathroom.
Cleaned myself up.
Cleaned up the floor.

Never told mom.
Couldn't.

But since then, I am fully aware that things go bump in the dark.

7 comments:

lady fairchilde said...

i am crying for your 5/6 year old self - thanks for the early morning bummer :(

Evil Twin's Wife said...

Awww, that is sad. Our house is full of night lights just for that purpose (waking up in the dark and needing to find the route to a restroom).

Busy Bee Suz said...

Oh my gosh..what a terrible memory for you. I am not really afraid of the dark...just ghosts.

marathoner81 said...

What a traumatizing story. You should be afraid of the dark. I'm afraid of deep dark water (yet I love the beach...just not the water) AND I'm not fond of the dark either. I had a babysitter lock me in our dark basement when I was 4 and told me my parents had died. I completely and rightfully freaked out. As you can imagine it's stayed with me. I told my mom when she got home and that lady never babysat again.

Gina said...

i used to be terrified of the dark as well, i slept with the light on (not just a nite light, the ceiling one!) until i was about 10 or 11.
i still get nervous if im alone in a dark house sometimes ;)

Crazy Mo said...

l_f: It bummed me out too. Then we had lunch. All better now.

ETW: We have night lights everywhere now too. TH is very understanding.

BBS: It's the living that we need to be afraid of!

marathoner81: WTF?! Honestly, where do these people get these ideas? I guess you're lucky that the Crazy Hosebeast didn't do more than that! Sheesh!!

Gina: And I still don't go downstairs without the light on. The Boogeyman lives down there, man!

Mojito said...

I'm afraid of midgets. Remind me someday to tell you my midget story.