New Math

1) April = March + Optimism

2) Laughter = Ha x 3

3) Wedding Ring = Metaphor – 3,000 bucks

4) Pirate = Thief + Boat + Bandana – Leg

5) Perseverance = If at first you don’t succeed + repetition

6) Ponzi Scheme = ROI - R – I

7) Layed off = It’s not you, it’s me + Your job

8) Divorce = Marriage ÷ 2

9) Nepotism = Who’s your Daddy? ÷ Ability

10) Beauty = Public Opinion + The eye of the beholder

11) Revenge = Do unto others – As you would have them do unto you.

12) Compassion = What if that were me? ÷ I’m glad that’s not me

13) Maturity = Things you used to do – Things you used to do

14) Happy = Unhappy – Un

15) Crazy = Talking to oneself – (Cell phone + Ear Piece)

16) Raisin = Grape + Time

17) Dog = Cat + Loyalty

18) Maybe = (Yes ÷ No) + (No ÷ Yes)

19) Paternity = What? + Are you sure?

20) Contrarian = 1 ÷ The way everyone else sees it