Friday, April 17, 2009

Definitely Not a Kid Anymore

M'Licious sent me an email yesterday.
L'dMAO when I read it.

Twenty-Five Ways to Tell You're Grown Up

  1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
  5. You hear your favourite song in an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up".
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up".
  10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the coach makes your back hurt.
  16. You take naps.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3:00 a.m. would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for Ibuprofen and Antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit".
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  25. When you find out your friend is pregnant, you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"

At the bottom of the email was a bonus question:

26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it too. And now you know why I am forwarding this to you ...

Damn I'm old!
I related to every single one of those items.
Did you?


    Evil Twin's Wife said...

    Well, I must be doing pretty good because I can still drink like the old days, I just can't stay up as late - and I buy wine in a box for economical reasons, so yeah, I still drink trashy wine. ;-)

    Busy Bee Suz said...

    Thanks a bunch. Now my day is ruined.
    Old people don't get to have any we?

    Annje said...

    Hey, I would still have sex on a twin bed... that means I am still young right?

    p.s. I'd love to help with your Spanish class (I teach it too) if you have any questions

    Domestic Goddess (In Training) said...

    I am proud to say the pregnant one still applies to me and my friends. The bad part is that our answers are usually "The Husband" instead of something infinitely more interesting and soap opera-esque.

    Clippy Mat said...

    related to 'em ALL
    but i beg to differ with #20
    i could still find SOMETHING to like about it.

    Kristina said...

    #11 creeps me out...not only because of what it's saying, but how true it is...

    Crazy Mo said...

    @ETW: It's only trashy wine if you think it is.

    @BBS: Maybe we need to hook up with ETW and get drunk!

    @Anjee: Probably not. It just means you're skinny. And I'll take you up on tutoring.

    @DGIT: LOL! If one of my friends announced they were pregnant, there would definitely be divine intervention involved.

    @Clippy Mat: Wanna join the rest of us at ETW's?

    @Kristina: My dad tells the best dirty jokes. No big surprise since he's French Canadian and all.

    Little Miss Sunshine State said...

    Some grown-ups have Bingo Arms...defined by my son who must have heard it from some stand-up comic.

    When you are an old lady at the Bingo Hall and you win, you throw your arms up into the air and wave them, yell BINGO and the underside of your arms flap back and forth.

    Why don't I have your email address?