Wednesday, August 6, 2008

We Aim to Pee ... I mean Please.

Taped behind every stall door in our washroom at work is a sign:

This is simple, to the point and is – in my opinion – crystal clear.

I was at my shiatsu therapist on the weekend, and when I used the washroom, I saw this sign behind the stall door:

Also crystal clear.

Good thing I was already in pee-position when I saw this cuz I would have had an embarrassing accident; being as I could probably star in my own Tena commercial these days.

Who the heck needs to be told not to pee on the floor?! I'm pretty sure my momma had the talk with me about not peeing on the floor. "Fille, ne pisse pas sur le plancher." Probably followed by un bon claquer sur la tête. Clearly some women didn't have this enlightening conversation.

I can barely hover, let alone squat on the toilet seat! I'd end up peeing on the floor, breaking Rule #1, which would defeat the whole purpose of squatting in the first place. And who are these gifted women that can squat on the toilet seat AND hold their balance?

I think a new Olympic event is in order. "Look at that balance, Hank. She's been holding it for hours and she is managing to wait until she is in perfect position. She had problems with her dismount in trials. Let's see how she does. Oh! Too bad!! She peed on the floor. That's an automatic disqualification."

Now, I'd like to point out that my office washroom – with the polite sign – is a bit manky. The shiatsu washroom – with the in-your-face-don't-pee-on-the-floor sign is spotless.

Hmmmm … maybe these instructions really do need to be spelled out – in several languages.

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