The Countdown's On

Next Friday,
we're leaving for Mexico.
I can't wait.
Other than my staycation
while TH was in Europe,
I haven't had a vacation since
this time last year,
when we went to Mexico.

Can you tell I love Mexico?

Last night,
I did what every woman
absolutely detests.
I went bathing suit shopping.

I don't know where
Bikini Village
found their mirrors,
but they were all warped.
The person reflected back at me
had way too many
dimples, lumps and bumps.

I don't just have a muffin top,
I have an entire bakery section.

The skinny bitch nice sales girl
asked me what kind of suit I was looking for.
"Something that covers all the sins?"
I suggested.

TH immediately pipes up
with a sarcastic
"Why don't you just take her
out back and show her the
berka section."

I appreciate the fact that
TH has a Shallow Hal complex.
He looks at me and sees
a hot skinny girl.
God bless him!

But I'm wondering if the berkas
come in a nice floral print.