I hate spiders.
They creep me out to no end.
They have far too many legs,
move way too fast,
and are just generally
Even as I type this, I'm convulsing.
This is a picture I took this morning.
From my boss's window.
It's frickin' huge!
Needless to say, I don't go in his office too often.
Quite frankly, I'm pretty impressed with myself
that I was able to take the picture at all.
What amazes me most is that
we're on the 34th floor of an office tower.
As you can see, we overlook Lake Ontario.
There is a constant brisk breeze coming from the lake.
The web vibrates at an alarming rate.
My boss is not the only one with a 'guest'.
Just about every office window has one.
It's like some horrible arachnid department store.
Walk down the hallway,
glance in the offices,
and window shop for this season's spider.
Free purse with every purchase.
Window-washers come and wash the windows on a regular basis.
The spiders just come back.
My boss was telling me that this spider is quite aggressive.
He recently pushed another spider off,
and took over his web.
Cuz I'm not going to have nightmares over that!
Visions of spiders taking over the world
are already flitting through my head.
However, it did remind me of this video clip.
Anyone who grew up in Canada
during the 60s and 70s,
will be quite familiar with the
Hinterterland Who's Who series.
Opening with distinctive flute music,
these short 60-second public service ads,
narrated by a deep-voiced man on Valium,
profiled Canadian wildlife.
Each episode ended with the same refrain:
"For more information on the
[insert type of animal here],
Canadian Wildlife Service,
I'm impressed with how realistic this clip seems,
compared to the original Hinterland series,
especially the opening sequence.
I think my fellow-Canadian followers will agree.
The narrator sounds the same and
it even has the crackly 60s film sound.
Despite my overwhelming fear,
I think this is hilarious.
Not to mention that I may pop a cap
into the next spider I meet.