I Appreciate You

Warning!
This blog post contains coarse language.
Reader discretion is advised.



It's that time of year again.
The time of year that we are bombarded by
the United Way
to donate money to their cause.

Many of the law firms in
downtown Toronto
participate in fundraising for the United Way.

We, for instance, have a two-week-long
campaign including
various raffles,
a silent auction,
bake sale,
and today's event:
I Appreciate You Day.

For $2 you can purchase a chocolate
send it to your friends,
your boss,
or whoever else you want to suck up to.

You will recall that last week
was not a good week for me
computer-wise.

My computer crashed 13 times last Tuesday
and I just about lost it.
Oh ... who am I kidding?
I totally lost it.

I was on the phone with one of the IT geeks.
John was trying to fix my problem
but my computer had crashed so badly,
that he wasn't even able to
access it remotely.
He muttered something about the computer
and I agreed.

Me: The f*cking computer is a piece of shit.

John: The what computer?

Me: [louder] The f*cking computer.

John: The what computer?

Me: [even louder] The f*cking computer.

John: The what computer?

Me: [louder still] The f*cking computer! Do you want me to come over there and say it?!

John: I really don't appreciate that kind of language, Mo.


Now, John normally has a pretty good sense of humour.
And I wasn't yelling at him--
I was merely venting.

But I started feeling a little guilty about this.
And I was telling Lady Fairchilde about it.
She suggested I send John a chocolate
with an anonymous note that reads:

"I f*cking appreciate you, man!"

As hilarious as that is,
I didn't do it.
Ironically, something tells me
he wouldn't appreciate it.