Chinglesh

Long time no blog.
Didya miss me?
I know, probably not.

BJ's husband sent me an email today,
and I felt it worthy enough to break my blogging hiatus.

I know you've seen these before,
(perhaps not these exact ones)
but they make me laugh every time.

You could probably bring your travel time down to 5 minutes if you run a lot.

Goot to no.

Yeah, I've run into a few slipperies. They are very crafty!

There's no point in beating around the bush. So to speak.

Brings new meaning to Mind the Gap, doesn't it? Think this will catch on in London? They'd probably sell more souvenirs.

No effort to even make up a word. Just Cow 'Something'.

I'm going to this next year.

Thangs you for to halfing me.

Friendly bunch, aren't they?

This is brilliant! I like that their 'friendly security guards' are more than happy to 'sort it out for you'. I'll just bet they are!

Maybe this Elmo is like a Baby Burp and Poop.

I bet Elmo eats here.

Wash by hand in coleslaw then iron at 120C for a nice light snack.

This disturbs me. It's quite possible that this machine cooks hot dogs (though, why you'd need a machine for the sole purpose of cooking hot dogs is beyond me), but the picture of the dog is throwing me off. Is the wiener made of dog meat? Does the machine warm up dog food? Is it for the cremation of small lap dogs? I don't get it.

YOU NO DIE HERE!

As Lady Fairchild pointed out, it's especially funny that the Stick Man's NoNo Zone is crossed out (extra points to LF for using the term 'NoNo Zone').

Not quite an anatomically correct figure of a tranny, is it?

CRAZY!!

Helluva deal for fresh herpes, I'd say. I guess there's no frozen herpes available, since the freezer is out of control.

WHAT THE?! I don't want to know what this tastes like or, for that matter, smells like.

This is one of those retro grenades, like those huge cell phones from the 90s.

But if you're kidnapped, call someone else.

A glass of wine or bottle of beer while you're having a mani and pedi is never a bad idea.

I knew my cell phone smelled funny.

Love the fine print at the bottom!

Think there's a stained cape that goes with this t-shirt?

Wang's gotta do what he's gotta do.

This is my favourite one. There is so much going on with this sign, so many random warnings, that I want to rub up against the wall, just to see what happens.